Comics, Toys and Noise

I woke up this morning with a rather sore throat. This is no surprise; I often get them this time of year (I'm usually good for two sinus infections per annum). Despite this, I could soon tell this was no ordinary sore throat as it felt like something large was blocking my airway and it was extremely painful to swallow, so much so that merely attempting to made me gag.

Despite what Owen may desperately wish, I don't often have things all the way down my throat, so I felt it bore investigation. Turns out I have a swollen uvula.

The uvula, for those who don't know, is the flap of skin that hangs from the roof of your mouth. It's supposed to cover the nose when you swallow so food doesn't get stuck up there. It is not to be confused with the vulva (although the words are similar), which is something the Angry Piper doesn't have (and hasn't seen in a while) and is quite another thing entirely. The uvula is most often seen when you bang your toe against something and let out a scream like Tom Cat of Tom and Jerry. Then it can be seen swinging side to side as your mouth opens wide as a cavern and you bellow your rage and frustration at the world (which is also something I did at 5:30 am as I tried to step over something in the dark and hit the foot of my bed). So far the day was starting out just swell.

When I looked in the mirror, my uvula, usually the size of a dime, was about the size of a quarter. It so happens I am a physical freak and I have what is known as a double uvula. Unlike the standard teardrop shape most folks have, mine looks like an upside-down valentine heart, which is a sign of virility and sexual dynamism in many cultures (because I say so). Needless to say, it had grown so large as to tickle the back of my throat, making me have to constantly swallow to avoid gagging, and it hurt like hell. This is the part where you should all feel sorry for me, because it put me in a mood most foul for the rest of the day.

The title of this blogpost was the slogan of a comic shop my friends used to own. I once appeared in a commercial for this store, wherein my head exploded as I frantically tried to cope with a customer's request for Spider-Man comics. I had to go to a comic book show today, where I was a vendor. I'm trying desperately to get rid of my comics, toys and novelties because I am seriously re-locating soon and need to free up the room. Well, the show was a bomb. After my table fee, I made about $150.00, which is a low amount for what I have, despite the fact that I'm practically GIVING MY STUFF AWAY.

The show ran from 10 am to 3pm, but I was there at 8 to set up. People pretty much stopped coming in at 1:30. By 11, I had only sold $12.00. It was a flop.

Now, I had been to this show before, several times, and the place is usually an anthill of sweaty, unwashed, slobby fanboys dressed in the same sweatpants and comic T-shirts they've been wearing for the past 4 days who can't wait to spread their greasy mitts on comics while breathing open-mouthed; their halitosis practically a visible fog as they beg and barter, looking for the best deal on whatever they seek. I was prepared for that, despite feeling like I was going to swallow my uvula. But the dork tide never rolled in. I was expecting to walk out of the show clearing $500.00 or so, but the low take was only half of the problem, and quite frankly, it was the smaller half.

The bigger half was that I didn't want to pack the shit up again and bring it back home. But I had to.

Two reasons why the show was dead today (three if you count my horrible luck): The Patriots were playing. But more importantly, a HUGE comic convention, Wizard World, took place last weekend in Boston. No one has any money left. Guess there's always next time.

Couple of interesting things I learned at the show: The talk amongst the geeks who did attend, including myself and other vendors, was all about Serenity. Some of the vendors had Serenity toys (and they still had them at the end of the show, which shows how dead it truly was). The only action figures I saw were for Captain Mal Reynolds and a Reaver. Oh, and a guy was wearing a T-shirt that said "Fear The Reavers" on it. Available at specialty comic shops everywhere, Sassy, along with the Serenity comic book which is written by Joss Whedon and fills in the storyline between the end of the series and the movie. Haven't read it myself, but I heard it's good.

Anyway, the preface to my big, fat, pretentious project on Hill TV is up for your viewing pleasure. Go check it out; there will be a first posting within the week. By then, Dr. Murk will have hopefully changed the background color on my webpage over there to something other than Invasion of the Body Snatchers snot yellow. (I'm begging you, brah!)

And just in case that whole double uvula has you intrigued, ladies (and come on-how could it not?) you should know that my "Sexual Style" is "Soft". Which hopefully doesn't mean what it sounds like. Damn Quizfarm.

Well, I'm off to eat my dinner if I can get it past my swollen uvula. It's not as swollen now, but that's because I haven't eaten anything all day and I'm starving. A dark crusty bread with butter, a big hunk of St. Jorge cheese, and to wash it all down: Sam Adams Oktoberfest.

Oh yeah. I'm a health food nut.

UPDATE: Spending more time on Quizfarm has been beneficial in my long journey to self-discovery. I have learned I am most like Napoleon Dynamite (as opposed to anyone else in the film), "Romantic" in bed, more like the X-Man Storm than any other X-Man, "Day Horny", I will likely die of natural causes, my biggest sin is sloth (true, BTW), am more like Gandalf than any other LOTR character (surprising, but cool), and I am most like The Riddler as opposed to any other Batman villain. There's more, but I'm not about to reveal all my secrets to you.