I'm Back
I have returned from my trip. For those of you who have frantically checked this blog on a daily basis waiting for the exact moment of my return: the wait is over. Breathe.
My travels took me to a place whose travel slogan is "One Happy Island." You may find the notion of The Angry Piper on "One Happy Island" to be fraught with irony. To that I respond: surely. But it was fun.
Of course, I was ready to come home. There's only so much drinking and reading and laying in the sun you can do, especially when my Celtic paleness turns into something the hue of cooked beets when exposed to sunlight for more than a few minutes. And it's a whole different kinda sun down there, people.
So what did I do? Lay in the sun a lot. Got a tan, belive it or not, despite the fact that I layered myself in 30 SPF sunblock 3 times a day. Swam in the Caribbean Sea. Re-read the Chonicles of Narnia and 4 other books. Met a few nice Dutch people, but didn't get in the car with any of them (I'm not a blonde 18 year old girl, but you never know). Covertly watched lots of foreign big girls in small bathing suits from behind the mirrored lenses of my shades. And I dodged lots of iguanas and iguana shit. Iguanas are like cats down there. They're everywhere, and they're big.
I also went to a casino for the first time in my life. I gave myself a limit of $20.00. It took me an hour to lose it all, but I was bored to tears within 10 minutes. I don't see how people enjoy sitting in front of a slot machine all day.
I drank quite a bit too, but towards the middle of the week it lost its charm. Drinks of choice: Balashi Beer and Pink Panthers. Now, I know what you're all thinking. How could The Angry Piper, a paragon of masculinity and virility, drink something so pussylike as to be called a "Pink Panther"?
Well, it's like this. There's no Guinness on the island.
Now, I was pleasantly surprised by the local Balashi brew. It's good stuff. But there's only so much you can drink of it before you want something new. So I tried the "drink o'the day" one day and it was a Pink Panther. Looks like Pepto Bismol, but tastes a lot better. And it does the job in no time flat. Especially for guys like me who don't usually drink (or like) hard liquor.
I brought some of you some souvenirs. Malach and Murk, you have presents. But not you, Eve. I didn't get you jack shit.
I bought myself something, too. Nothing major, and not something I needed. It's another T shirt. And it's not the one I saw depicting a Jolly Roger with the slogan: "Surrender the Booty" on it. I mean, really. There's a point I won't go beyond.
Anyway, I'm back, and I'm considerably more swarthy-looking than usual. I am also glad to see that my apartment, and all my stuff, is exactly how I left it. The Angry Piper doesn't live in the best part of town.
On a side note: I mentioned the Chronicles of Narnia earlier in this blog; for those who simply skim my rantings, you may have missed it. Anyone else waiting for this movie with as much antici......pation as me? Christ, I watched the trailer again a few minutes ago and got chills.
Liam Neeson as Aslan? Oh yeah.
My travels took me to a place whose travel slogan is "One Happy Island." You may find the notion of The Angry Piper on "One Happy Island" to be fraught with irony. To that I respond: surely. But it was fun.
Of course, I was ready to come home. There's only so much drinking and reading and laying in the sun you can do, especially when my Celtic paleness turns into something the hue of cooked beets when exposed to sunlight for more than a few minutes. And it's a whole different kinda sun down there, people.
So what did I do? Lay in the sun a lot. Got a tan, belive it or not, despite the fact that I layered myself in 30 SPF sunblock 3 times a day. Swam in the Caribbean Sea. Re-read the Chonicles of Narnia and 4 other books. Met a few nice Dutch people, but didn't get in the car with any of them (I'm not a blonde 18 year old girl, but you never know). Covertly watched lots of foreign big girls in small bathing suits from behind the mirrored lenses of my shades. And I dodged lots of iguanas and iguana shit. Iguanas are like cats down there. They're everywhere, and they're big.
I also went to a casino for the first time in my life. I gave myself a limit of $20.00. It took me an hour to lose it all, but I was bored to tears within 10 minutes. I don't see how people enjoy sitting in front of a slot machine all day.
I drank quite a bit too, but towards the middle of the week it lost its charm. Drinks of choice: Balashi Beer and Pink Panthers. Now, I know what you're all thinking. How could The Angry Piper, a paragon of masculinity and virility, drink something so pussylike as to be called a "Pink Panther"?
Well, it's like this. There's no Guinness on the island.
Now, I was pleasantly surprised by the local Balashi brew. It's good stuff. But there's only so much you can drink of it before you want something new. So I tried the "drink o'the day" one day and it was a Pink Panther. Looks like Pepto Bismol, but tastes a lot better. And it does the job in no time flat. Especially for guys like me who don't usually drink (or like) hard liquor.
I brought some of you some souvenirs. Malach and Murk, you have presents. But not you, Eve. I didn't get you jack shit.
I bought myself something, too. Nothing major, and not something I needed. It's another T shirt. And it's not the one I saw depicting a Jolly Roger with the slogan: "Surrender the Booty" on it. I mean, really. There's a point I won't go beyond.
Anyway, I'm back, and I'm considerably more swarthy-looking than usual. I am also glad to see that my apartment, and all my stuff, is exactly how I left it. The Angry Piper doesn't live in the best part of town.
On a side note: I mentioned the Chronicles of Narnia earlier in this blog; for those who simply skim my rantings, you may have missed it. Anyone else waiting for this movie with as much antici......pation as me? Christ, I watched the trailer again a few minutes ago and got chills.
Liam Neeson as Aslan? Oh yeah.
posted by The Angry Piper at 11:47 AM
10 Comments:
Glad you're back.
That's because you missed me like the deserts miss the rain.
Narnia... mmmmm, I want to go back but I kinda broke the wardrobe one dark and drinky night...
PRESENTS? Semen stained speedos from a dutch boy?
You seem to think about Dutch boys a lot, Malach. If I had known how much you liked them, I'd have considered it.
Glad your back. I missed your rudeness over this past week. Now that I am not at work I can scream mean and nasty things to you, but I wont because I am bigger than that.
Oh by the way, I forgot....bite me!
Nope. But I did catch something from the ac in my room. It was set to 17C and blowing on me the first night I was there. The next night I fixed it so it wasn't directly on me, but the damage was done.
Then I got hosed by the cabbie who charged me $10 to go 1 mile (total) to the pharmacy and back.
But I still had a fun time.
mmm...tropical pharmacies..
did you re-read the entire chron of Narn? or Just TLTW&TW? I can't wait either though. Tilda Swinton as the white witch? Perf.
(pushing my glasses back up my nose with geeky aplomb)
Re-read The Magician's Nephew, TL, TW &TW, The Horse and His Boy, and Prince Caspian. Then it was time to leave Narnia for a while and I read other stuff.
And I agree about Tilda Swinton. She looks way cool in the trailer.
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