Where the Hell You Been, Piper?
OK, so it's about time I posted something new on this blog. Think of it as a transitional post until I get something better up here.
First, whether y'all know it or not, I'm an aspiring writer. In other words, I like to write, and would love to write for a living, although I realize that even if I was as talented as I think I am, that would be a lofty goal indeed. Most writers have other jobs, and very few can make a living solely by pounding keys.
That being said, if I had a choice between writing purely for profit or writing to inspire, entertain, and be read, I would choose the latter choices. As, I think, would all my friends who also have writing aspirations.
These friends, Dr. Murk and C. J. Owen, have known me a long time. Neither has read any of my stuff. Why? Because I am obsessive about editing myself, and because although I should welcome their input (they're both smart and well-read), I think I would take their criticism harshly, because they're my friends. For these same reasons, I have not offered criticism of my own regarding their work. It's something I need to get over. Perhaps we three should sit down and form our own writing group, but so far it hasn't happened.
I have recently made the painful decision to trash the 50+ pages of my novel I've been working on, because I'm pretty much convinced it's crap (I convinced myself of this). Good concept, wrong voice. Back to the drawing board. On the other hand, I have several short stories in various stages of completion (one has been edited so much it's time for someone else to see it), and I need to stoke up my courage enough to send them out. Like the abovementioned writing group, this too has not happened.
But one of my friends has a sack bigger than Santa. He's got more balls than a bowling alley. He's been published several times, which means at some point, he bit the bullet and sent his work out to editors in the hopes of being published, and it paid off. In fact, the latest example is in the Fall 2006 issue of Apex Digest, the science-fiction and horror quarterly. His name is Jim Reilly, and the story I'm speaking of is entitled "The Tow." The Fall issue of Apex is on newsstands now.
I haven't spoken to Jim in a long time, but we recently reconnected via my MySpace. I used to work for him, if you call hanging out in the comic shop he once owned "work". I once appeared in a commercial for this same comic shop, in which my head (actually a completely unconvincing facsimile thereof) exploded after being unable to deal with a customer's request for Spider-Man comics. Ahh, the good old days.
I just read "The Tow". It was well-written (my boy can write!). It was also disgusting, which I'm sure is exactly the reaction Jim was looking to evoke in his readers. Bravo, dude. You have inspired me, for the time being, anyway. And although I've said it before, I will get serious about this goal of mine; i.e. to become a writer.
So what else have I been doing with myself, when I should be writing? Well, I've been writing. Over at the WoW. In the past month or so I've put up Profiles on all the WoW figureheads. Go here and you can get all of them. Plus, I penned a little yarn I call Just Another Night at Dr. Murk's House. Then, after being called a "poser" by one of my fellow WoWees, I decided to respond with a post in two parts that I entitled "The WoW Family Picnic". Part one is here. Part two is here.
And my friend and hetero-lifemate Malach has been kind enough to begin collecting my scribblings over at Rubbersuit Studios, so in time you will find all of these (and hopefully others) there as well. Hardly what I'd call serious fiction, but hopefully worth a look and a laugh or two.
What I'm listening to: Unfortunately, not Howard Stern on Sirius. My fucking Sirius radio receiver broke, and I haven't been able to replace it yet. Since 85% of my job is driving, I'm going through withdrawal.
What I'm playing: Just finished X-Men Legends on PS2. An oldie but goodie. Now I'm debating whether to dive into X-Men Legends 2, or start something else non-X-related.
What I'm reading: take a look to the right, genius! There's a whole part of the page devoted to just that. Incidentally, my break from book reviewing is coming to an end. Look for a new review over at Angrypiper.com by the end of the month. Also a new Angry Rant, coming soon. Oddly enough, even though I haven't updated the site in forever, it hasn't affected my web traffic in the slightest. Guess you like me.
What I'm watching: Lost, even though 2 out of 3 of this season's episodes have sucked shit through a crazy straw. Let's hope tomorrow is better. I'm also waiting patiently for Family Guy to return, and I'm not giving two shits about the World Series.
Speaking of watching, I want to go see The Prestige, because if it's anything like the book I read a few years back it's going to be great. I almost reviewed it on my site a few months ago. I sure would have if I had any idea they were adapting it for a movie. I just watched a very famous movie for the first time. It's called The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original). It's rumored to be a classic, and quite scary.
Even allowing that the movie is over 30 years old, I must disagree. It was anything but scary. In fact, it was quite annoying. Every character in the movie was annoying. The screaming was annoying. The constant chainsaw sound was annoying. The lack of any comprehensible plot was annoying. But what was really annoying was that you CAN'T FUCKING SEE ANYTHING because the movie is filmed almost entirely in the dark.
Wow, I hate that. My West Coast chum Tel recently dropped me an email saying The Descent was scary as hell, and recommended I see it. Well, Tel also liked Jeepers Creepers, so I take her movie reviews with a large chunk of salt. (I fully expect a big F-U from Tel in the comments section of this post. We'll see. :) However, one of my other friends ( I do have several) also heartily endorsed The Descent as being pee-in-your-pants scary. My only concern is: is it filmed in the dark so you can't see what's going on? (Maybe Tel can answer me if she's still talking to me.) Because if so, screw that, man!
I'm also gonna watch the new Thai action film, Tom Yum Goong, which was released here in the US under the title of The Protector. I got an import from my comic shop. It features Tony Jaa, the guy from Ong Bak. I've never seen anyone kick as much ass as this guy.
Except for that time I watched Dr. Mantodea defend his virtue in the prison shower.
Ahh...the good old days.
First, whether y'all know it or not, I'm an aspiring writer. In other words, I like to write, and would love to write for a living, although I realize that even if I was as talented as I think I am, that would be a lofty goal indeed. Most writers have other jobs, and very few can make a living solely by pounding keys.
That being said, if I had a choice between writing purely for profit or writing to inspire, entertain, and be read, I would choose the latter choices. As, I think, would all my friends who also have writing aspirations.
These friends, Dr. Murk and C. J. Owen, have known me a long time. Neither has read any of my stuff. Why? Because I am obsessive about editing myself, and because although I should welcome their input (they're both smart and well-read), I think I would take their criticism harshly, because they're my friends. For these same reasons, I have not offered criticism of my own regarding their work. It's something I need to get over. Perhaps we three should sit down and form our own writing group, but so far it hasn't happened.
I have recently made the painful decision to trash the 50+ pages of my novel I've been working on, because I'm pretty much convinced it's crap (I convinced myself of this). Good concept, wrong voice. Back to the drawing board. On the other hand, I have several short stories in various stages of completion (one has been edited so much it's time for someone else to see it), and I need to stoke up my courage enough to send them out. Like the abovementioned writing group, this too has not happened.
But one of my friends has a sack bigger than Santa. He's got more balls than a bowling alley. He's been published several times, which means at some point, he bit the bullet and sent his work out to editors in the hopes of being published, and it paid off. In fact, the latest example is in the Fall 2006 issue of Apex Digest, the science-fiction and horror quarterly. His name is Jim Reilly, and the story I'm speaking of is entitled "The Tow." The Fall issue of Apex is on newsstands now.
I haven't spoken to Jim in a long time, but we recently reconnected via my MySpace. I used to work for him, if you call hanging out in the comic shop he once owned "work". I once appeared in a commercial for this same comic shop, in which my head (actually a completely unconvincing facsimile thereof) exploded after being unable to deal with a customer's request for Spider-Man comics. Ahh, the good old days.
I just read "The Tow". It was well-written (my boy can write!). It was also disgusting, which I'm sure is exactly the reaction Jim was looking to evoke in his readers. Bravo, dude. You have inspired me, for the time being, anyway. And although I've said it before, I will get serious about this goal of mine; i.e. to become a writer.
So what else have I been doing with myself, when I should be writing? Well, I've been writing. Over at the WoW. In the past month or so I've put up Profiles on all the WoW figureheads. Go here and you can get all of them. Plus, I penned a little yarn I call Just Another Night at Dr. Murk's House. Then, after being called a "poser" by one of my fellow WoWees, I decided to respond with a post in two parts that I entitled "The WoW Family Picnic". Part one is here. Part two is here.
And my friend and hetero-lifemate Malach has been kind enough to begin collecting my scribblings over at Rubbersuit Studios, so in time you will find all of these (and hopefully others) there as well. Hardly what I'd call serious fiction, but hopefully worth a look and a laugh or two.
What I'm listening to: Unfortunately, not Howard Stern on Sirius. My fucking Sirius radio receiver broke, and I haven't been able to replace it yet. Since 85% of my job is driving, I'm going through withdrawal.
What I'm playing: Just finished X-Men Legends on PS2. An oldie but goodie. Now I'm debating whether to dive into X-Men Legends 2, or start something else non-X-related.
What I'm reading: take a look to the right, genius! There's a whole part of the page devoted to just that. Incidentally, my break from book reviewing is coming to an end. Look for a new review over at Angrypiper.com by the end of the month. Also a new Angry Rant, coming soon. Oddly enough, even though I haven't updated the site in forever, it hasn't affected my web traffic in the slightest. Guess you like me.
What I'm watching: Lost, even though 2 out of 3 of this season's episodes have sucked shit through a crazy straw. Let's hope tomorrow is better. I'm also waiting patiently for Family Guy to return, and I'm not giving two shits about the World Series.
Speaking of watching, I want to go see The Prestige, because if it's anything like the book I read a few years back it's going to be great. I almost reviewed it on my site a few months ago. I sure would have if I had any idea they were adapting it for a movie. I just watched a very famous movie for the first time. It's called The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original). It's rumored to be a classic, and quite scary.
Even allowing that the movie is over 30 years old, I must disagree. It was anything but scary. In fact, it was quite annoying. Every character in the movie was annoying. The screaming was annoying. The constant chainsaw sound was annoying. The lack of any comprehensible plot was annoying. But what was really annoying was that you CAN'T FUCKING SEE ANYTHING because the movie is filmed almost entirely in the dark.
Wow, I hate that. My West Coast chum Tel recently dropped me an email saying The Descent was scary as hell, and recommended I see it. Well, Tel also liked Jeepers Creepers, so I take her movie reviews with a large chunk of salt. (I fully expect a big F-U from Tel in the comments section of this post. We'll see. :) However, one of my other friends ( I do have several) also heartily endorsed The Descent as being pee-in-your-pants scary. My only concern is: is it filmed in the dark so you can't see what's going on? (Maybe Tel can answer me if she's still talking to me.) Because if so, screw that, man!
I'm also gonna watch the new Thai action film, Tom Yum Goong, which was released here in the US under the title of The Protector. I got an import from my comic shop. It features Tony Jaa, the guy from Ong Bak. I've never seen anyone kick as much ass as this guy.
Except for that time I watched Dr. Mantodea defend his virtue in the prison shower.
Ahh...the good old days.
posted by The Angry Piper at 5:49 PM
7 Comments:
Chainsaw was brilliant for the time. You got to look at it like this. Never was a movie like this made that was popular, the dark effect worked at the time to keep the movie scary and within rated R ratings. Might not stand up as well now . . . but for the time.
You want a good old horror movie: Last House on the Left.
Dude, I posted a story on my site for the very reason that I want your input, we will have a virtual writers group if you just give me some feedback. Step up to the plate already.
I vote for the AP throwing all his novels to the floor and writing up some trelevision screenplays. I think his first script should be:
CSI: Cthulu.
Oh yeah.
stop lying to the world about where you've been, Piper!
By the way, you left your other kilt on my nightstand!
Oh, you are so dead, Hobbs.
So dead.
If there were actual degrees of death, rest assured you would be dead in the highest degree.
As you know Piper I am not a scary movie fan. I do want to see the Prestige though because you have talked so much about it, you have convinced me that it will be great. I am planning on seeing it tomorrow.
I saw Paris.
I saw France.
I saw Piper's underpants.
Sort of...
He wasn't wearing any under his skirt.
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