I got tagged.

Tel tagged me. Now, usually I don't go for silly survey thingies like this, but it's Tel we're talking about here, and I have sorely neglected her (and everyone else) for some time. So even though I just got back from Ireland and have tons and tons of shit to write about, I'm taking this moment to make Tel happy.

The Rules:
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and that they should read your blog.
5. 8 is a magic number. Not three.

OK, here goes. Because Tel kept her list lighthearted, I will do the same and not mention things like how many people I've killed and how I like to cut myself to let out the pain. If you already know the following things about me, pin a big fat rose on you. If not, get ready to be educated.

1. Whenever I eat a peanut-butter sandwich, I flatten it into a pancake shape with the palm of my hand. The bread cannot be fluffy. I have done some soul-searching about this issue, as it is of great importance to me, and I have come up with the following explanation: when I was in grade school, I had several lunchboxes with thermos bottles in them. Throughout the day, the thermos bottle would roll back and forth over my sandwich. At lunchtime, I would open my lunchbox, and there amid the wafting scent of bananas and plastic wrap would find my sandwich in a decidedly flat state. I would eat it anyway.

2. Several years ago I decided I would take up one of the following hobbies: fencing, SCUBA diving or archery. I am too tall for fencing, too poor for SCUBA, and I discovered you need to be able to see a target in order to fire an arrow at it. My long-distance vision sucks, so I decided to play the bagpipes instead.

3. I've got a secret I won't tell, I won't tell, I won't tell...I've got a secret I won't tell... and it's not "Injun Joe's ticklish."

4. When I was a wee lad of two years or so, I was convinced that Grimace from McDonald's was living in my closet and wanted to eat me. To some extent, I still believe that to be the case.

5. I sure do love big boobs, but unlike Tel, I give no bonus points for implants. Implants suck. (Note: this in no way implies Tel has implants; I wouldn't know. Tel just likes boobs.)

6. I shave with a straight razor, therefore that makes me pretty fucking cool.

7. I'm a big tipper. But when dining out, one thing I absolutely hate is when I finish my meal and then the wait staff inexplicably vanishes, so I have to wait forever to get my bill. Or, worse: when they drop off my bill and THEN vanish, so I have to wait forever to pay for my meal. These things get me cranky.

8. I took one of those incredibly accurate Internet "purity tests" about 8 years ago. I discovered I was 68% pure. That was eight years ago. Now plant life withers at my touch.

TAG: I demand the following bloggers write eight things about themselves (I apologize for how queer many of you may find this): Eve, XT(Make sure she gets the message, Tel), Christopher Morris, Malach the Merciless, Dr. Jen, Freya (start a blog, bitch!), CJ Owen, and Just Me.

If I didn't include you, it was because you're rumored to be dead (Dr. Murk), don't have a blog(The Angry Veteran) or because I know you would ridicule me and make me weep (Dr. Mantodea).

Watch this space: next up: Things I Learned in Ireland.