The Piper's Christmas List 2006

Don’t let anyone tell you different: Christmas is all about getting stuff. Plus, I needed an excuse to post a bunch of links.

I’m easy to shop for. My list to Santa is generally divided into three categories: Books, Games and Other. In fact, Santa usually gets pissed at me because I’m very specific and leave little to Santa’s personal creativity. I list books by title and author. If Santa doesn’t bring them, I’ll buy them myself over the course of the year, anyway. I never want grown-up things like clothes or a GPS, or manly things like power tools and sporting goods.

This year I have decided to put my wish list online, since I know I won’t be getting any of these things this year. Perhaps I’ll get really lucky, but I doubt it. I’ll let you know on the 26th.

Books: A few years ago, Allison and Busby Publishing printed several volumes of The Fu Manchu Omnibus, collecting all of Sax Rohmer’s out-of-print tales of the Devil Doctor in convenient editions. These were generally available in Europe only, but some specialty book dealers in the States had them. They’re tough to come by now. I need the first two volumes to complete my collection (even though I read the stories contained therein years ago). Campy, silly, and as politically incorrect as you can get, these stories are nonetheless classics of the Pulp genre and a guilty pleasure for me.

Night Shade Books is a small press that puts out beautiful (and expensive) books. Each book is a work of art, with leather-bound covers, gilt paint and high-quality paper, and an extremely low print run. They showcase authors of weird fiction; writers like Clark Ashton Smith, H. P. Lovecraft and Manly Wade Wellman. Several years back they did a five-volume compilation of Wellman’s work, including his popular tales of John the Balladeer. I need the first two volumes of these, too.

Games: Although I wouldn’t mind a Playstation 3, I’m not in much of a hurry to get one. First, the price is outrageous. At 600 or 500 bucks retail, depending on whether you want the big (60GB) or small (20GB) hard drive, it’s more than a little steep. Never mind that people are literally getting shot over them. Online they’re selling for upwards of $1500.00. Are people fucking crazy? Second, Game Informer Magazine gave it an unimpressive grade of a B. Looks like there are a lot of problems with the PS3 right out of the gate. Nonetheless, I am serious about my videogames, and I’m a Playstation guy all the way. No X-Box or Wii for me. Although Game Informer gave the Wii an A-, that Wii controller just looks and seems ridiculous, and the commercials with the two Japanese guys in the Smartcar randomly bestowing the joys of Wii gaming on unsuspecting suburbanites are annoying. But I currently have about 15 PS2 games I haven’t even played yet, and dozens more I’d like to play. And with the prices only coming down since the release of the PS3, I’ll have more than enough PS2 gaming entertainment to last me until next Christmas (at least).

On the list this year for PS2 games: Shadow of the Colossus, Rule of Rose, Prince of Persia: Warrior Within and Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones, and Black. Yeah they’re all old, but that means they’re cheap, too.


Other: Here’s where I list anything that doesn’t fall into the categories above. I could list things I have no hope of getting, like a set of Hamish Moore highland pipes, a book deal or laid. Instead I’ll opt for the more realistic stuff.

One DVD set I’d love to see under my tree is Spider-Man: The ‘67 Collection. Made five years before I was born, these cartoons are nonetheless classics for the theme song alone. I once owned the first three seasons of The Shield. I’d like to replace those, and I’d like to get Season 4, too.

Speaking of replacements, my bottle of Hendrick’s Gin is a bit low. Maybe Santa will bring me a new bottle.

And that about covers it. Merry Christmas, everyone.