Hiatus

As many of you may know, Dog the Bounty Hunter finally married his long-time girlfriend with the award-winning cans, Beth. This means I will likely never fulfill my fantasy of rocking Beth's world with crazy Piper luv. As a result, The Angry Piper's Book of the Week will be going on brief hiatus while I drink myself silly to drown my grief. This is usually bad news; I tend to do stupid things when I'm on the drinkin'. But don't fret. I'll be back soon.

In the meantime, this is a good opportunity to try out an idea that's been kicking around in my head for a while: the guest review.

Got a book you love? Want to recommend it to people? Want to dazzle the Internet world with your insightful brilliance, or just pontificate pretentiously? Do a guest review of a book. I'll host it at Angrypiper.com. You'll be saving me some work for the next couple of weeks, and on top of that, you'll be doing a service to other readers. My book reviews receive about 100-120 unique hits a day. Not to brag, but a lot of folks actually want to read what I have to say about matters literary. Go figure.

Now's your chance to capitalize on my hard work and status as a D-List Internet celebrity. Here are the submission guidelines:

1) Don't review a book I have already reviewed. If you want to post a contrary opinion to one of my reviews, that's what the feedback link is for. I will eventually do a post of all the comments I have received at the end of the year.

2) Please review only books you recommend. Don't use this as an opportunity to tell people how much a book or a writer sucks. That's not what my column is about.

3) Don't send me your 25 page term paper on East of Eden. My book reviews are short for a reason. Try to keep it about 2 pages or less, please.

4) Do not send me a chapter by chapter summary of the book. If you are unclear how to summarize, please look at any of my reviews.

5) If at all possible, do not give away the book's ending. People want to find that out for themselves.

5) I reserve the right to edit for grammar and spelling. I won't change the content of your review, but if you can't spell to save your life and are unfamiliar with the concept of spellcheck, you're gonna have to accept some editing.

6) Submissions should be in Word or Plain Text formats. (.doc or .txt) I use a PC.

7) All submissions will be credited, along with a link to the author's email (if desired) so they can receive feedback. I'll even post amusing and/or factual reviewer bios. If you don't want to be linked to your work, tell me; I'll still make sure you get feedback, it'll just come from me and the rest of the world won't know your email address.

8) SEND ALL SUBMISSIONS TO angrypiper@angrypiper.com


I hope to get some good submissions within the next few weeks. If nothing goes up, it's because none of you wanted to write a review. That's ok; I understand. But it sure would be swell if you did.

OK, I'm off to drink a handle of Gordon's gin straight up while sobbing uncontrollably in the dark. Gordon's: the cheapest gin not made in a bathtub.

Beth...why have you forsaken me?

Vacation's Over

I've been on vacation for the past week, and I return to work tomorrow. Overall, my vacation was a mixed bag. Three days were basically spent in my bedroom to escape the brutal heat, which is the only room with an AC. My mid-week plans with my goddaughter got scrapped at the last minute and I found out the ferry to Martha's Vinyard got ridiculously expensive since the last time I went about 15 years ago (it's actually more practical now to fly), so I didn't do that either. Oh, and I had to buy a new battery for the car and break into my apartment, having locked myself out. I'm actually kind of freaked out about how easy it is to break in. Good thing I don't have anything worth stealing; who, besides me, really wants to own shitloads of comic books and a set of bagpipes?

Speaking of pipes (as I often do), one of the biggest and coolest bagpiping events in the country is next weekend: The Piper's Gathering. I thought it was this weekend, but I was wrong. It looks like I'm going to miss it anyway because a five-hour drive (one-way) into the wilds of Vermont alone isn't fun, especially when I have no place to stay at the other end. I'm really bummed about this; this event was something I was looking forward to since January.

Vacation certainly wasn't all bad. My comic shop got some new (or rather old) Zatoichi movies in, and I watched them along with The Big Lebowski (again). I reconnected and raised a few pints with with some old friends who reside both far and near. Oh...and I worked on Angrypiper.com. A lot.

A huge update has just occurred. No longer will you see this page. Now there are zero dead links.
I'm working on a new layout for the site but I'm having minor technical problems, meaning I don't like the way it looks so far. Until I do, the old layout stays.

This Blog will be moving very soon. Don't fret; you'll have plenty of warning. In fact, consider this your first one.

In the Book Reviews Section, the current selection is still Mickey Spillane. Look for an update within the next few days or so, I've been busy with all the other stuff lately.

The first of several planned Bagpiping articles has gone up: Bagpipes 101, a primer on the anatomy and physiology of the great highland bagpipe. Everything you probably never cared to know about bagpipes, so you never asked. With pictures.

And at long last, the Anger is back. Submitted for your perusal is not one, not two, but three complete and new Angry Rants, plus one on deck (to be published soon).

If, after that, you still haven't got your fill of anger and if you haven't done so already, check out what Dr. Mantodea has to say over at Hill-TV. The mantis loves to remind you how stupid you are.

I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow.

Here's Something You Don't See Very Often

I admit it. It's me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyQLICALjdE